The Haircut

So, before this turns into a really long story (which I imagine it will) where I draw it out without ever explaining the title… and then disappoint all my fans (all 3 of you so far!) with the payoff, I’ll just post it now.  I don’t need to build up the suspense any longer. 😛

Obviously a lot has happened between where I left off, and the infamous haircut.  Since it’s been not quite a year and a half.  Here goes.

Recently I went out of town, rather suddenly, to go visit my sick grandmother.  I went so suddenly not knowing how much longer she would be with us, though maybe my Dad had exaggerated–or perhaps just not explained thoroughly–the situation.  Anyway, it’s good I went because she’s now going into hospice care.

I asked Seth to bring me to the airport.  His haircut was more important.  I suppose the details don’t really matter, but I still want to explain them.

Sunday night was when I found out how sick my grandmother was, and I hem and haw over the decision to visit… and whether to go alone, to bring the baby, or go all 3 of us.  A lot to consider.  Some time Monday, Seth agreed to be a model for someone in beauty school in exchange for a free haircut.  They need people to demonstrate their skills on.  It’s how I ended up accidentally platinum blonde.  Oh, and this is someone he’d never met, it was through a local Facebook page.

I decide I should go see grandma, and it would be easiest to go alone, and Monday night I schedule my flight, Emailing Seth the itinerary.  Not that he read the Email.

Tuesday morning I go to pick up the baby (spoiler alert: we are currently separated) and he asks if I can watch her early the next day so he can do the haircut.  “My flight leaves tomorrow morning.”  “Oh, ok, I’ll cancel the haircut.”  Great.

Tuesday night I drop her off so I can go to my meeting, and ask if he cancelled the haircut.  Of course not.  He would have felt too guilty to cancel last minute.  The haircut is at 8:30 downtown, my flight leaves at 11:30… not downtown.  I point out that if he doesn’t get home in time, I won’t be able to take myself because of the baby.

I spend the first half of the drive to my meeting freaking out about how I’m going to get to the airport.  Then I realize I have options.  I ask a friend if she can watch her, so I can drive myself to the airport… of course making Seth’s “free haircut” very expensive, paying for airport parking.  Not only will my friend watch her, it turns out her boyfriend can drive me while she watches the baby.  Even better!  Free parking, free babysitting, and free ride to the airport.  Oh yeah, and a free haircut.

So he drops her off Wednesday morning.  I tell him I’m a little cranky that this haircut was more important to him than taking me to the airport.  He got defensive.  “Well, I think I’ll be home in plenty of time,” (he wasn’t) “but I’m glad you found something that works for you.”

Wow.  Exercise a little independence, and that’s the response I get?!

He later apologized, saying he didn’t know how much of an ordeal the haircut would be… it took about 2 hours or so… and he’s glad I’m more sensible than he is.

Hi.  Too little, too late.

It’s occurred to me that in the past I might have missed that flight.  I was so codependent that I would have sat around waiting for him… only to say “See?  I was right!” when he walked in the door too late to take me to the airport.  So I’m pretty proud of myself for that.

Anyway.  That’s when I realized that addiction really is a sickness.  He couldn’t think about the situation rationally, and when I called him on it he got defensive.  I don’t know if he’s resumed his previous sexual behaviors, but that doesn’t really matter.  He’s not sober.  The fact that he was more concerned with disappointing this virtual stranger than disappointing his wife is pretty telling.

How long until he disappoints our little girl that way?

There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a free lunch.  Apparently there’s no such thing as a free haircut, either.  Obviously there are so many other things that have gone into this giant pot of shit stew, but his free haircut probably cost him his marriage.


5 thoughts on “The Haircut

  1. “The fact that he was more concerned with disappointing this virtual stranger than disappointing his wife is pretty telling.” Geez, that hits close to home. I just found out my husband is an addict, and I’m trying through therapy to wrap my head around this vile new world. I’m trying to let go of depending on him for anything and to remember how awesome I once was. Anyway, I just wanted to say I understand and good luck!


  2. Pingback: Falling from the Pink Cloud | Haircut and a Divorce

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