Wow, I guess I didn’t realize how much The Simpsons has influenced me throughout the years.
Anyway, as I alluded to in my last post, I found something rather inane to spin on my hamster wheel about this morning.
There’s a TV in the waiting room of my therapist’s office. It plays a slideshow which has lots of motivational sayings on it, with the occasional “Get to know your therapist!” slide in between.
Well, let me tell you, I’ve spent a lot of time watching that slideshow.
A little while ago, I realized one of the therapists displayed is a recent graduate of the school I’m planning to attend for my MA. Ooh, neat! I should talk to him! (Andplusalso he looked kinda cute. So sue me.)
A few weeks ago, I took a chance and reached out, asking to pick his brain about the MA program. Wait, what? That’s something I don’t think I would have ever DREAMED of doing maybe 2 years ago. Networking? Meeting new people?!
I’ve complained many times (though not here, I think) about how much more difficult it is to make friends after college, and how life was so much easier when all my closest friends were within walking distance on campus.
We had coffee this morning.
He has a husband. So, right there that’s two major factors making the cute part irrelevant.
Anywho. I came away from coffee thinking, “hey, I like him! We have stuff in common!” and wanting to be all:
But instead feeling all:
So I obsessed over that sporadically throughout the day. Mostly when I was trying to ignore anything important at the end of the day. Such as… I dunno, the walk through with the realtor?
And, y’know what? At the end of the day, I was a big girl. I did something normal people do. I sent him an Email. And he wrote back!
I made a new friend!
I made a D&D reference!
So, I am often plagued with analysis paralysis. And, I think Sid was right. It is a kind of high for me.
Thinking back to that last Cards Against Humanity night, I was obsessing over how my interaction with Aaron was going to go. I wanted to come up with the exact perfect thing to say, in any potential scenario.
Again, none of those scenarios involved “just see what happens,” and in hindsight, certainly none of those scenarios involved him cancelling last minute such that I had zero interactions with him!
I get so wrapped up in finding the perfect outcome before the situation actually happens… I’m so busy trying to figure out the future that the present is whizzing right by me.
Two more examples:
I couldn’t possibly give Sid a Christmas present. Why would I want to give him a present? Is that inappropriate? Let me Google that!
I couldn’t possibly ask Sid if we can meet more than once a week. Can I? Is that too often? I don’t know! Let’s ask Google!
Man, Google totally enables that analysis paralysis. If you don’t know what to do about something, google it! You’ll find hundreds or different pages all giving you a different option for how to proceed!
Oof. My brain is exhausting.