All I want to do is hug my baby right now. It’s Tuesday night, and I haven’t seen her since Friday morning.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I saw her on Skype about 2 hours ago. That kinda made it worse, in a way. I cried the whole time, and it only made me miss her more. It made me wish I could give her a big hug and a smooch.
So, the training goes until Friday. The test after training was supposed to be Saturday, but when they moved it to Monday, I decided to extend my trip.
Now I’m thinking of going back as soon as training is done, and taking the test in a few weeks when it’s offered a little closer to home. I really miss my little girl. I was crazy to think I could make it 11 days away from her.
Training is… I dunno, it hasn’t been as emotionally difficult as the other training I’ve been doing. Maybe because it’s more spread out, a more interactive environment, who knows. There’s also a fair amount of overlap in the material.
Empathy. Active Listening. Validating peoples’ feelings.
Or maybe the overlap is why it hasn’t been as difficult. I’ve already touched on it.
Probably the third time the facilitator emphasized how important active listening is, I couldn’t help but say, “what?” She laughed, and gave me a prize! 😀
I called my sponsor, even though I knew she’d be at a meeting. She didn’t call me back. 😦 I almost called Sid. Nope. Not desperate enough yet. Besides, I just want to whine about how I miss my baby girl.
Also, it’ll be an interesting exercise the next time I see or talk to Sid. I want to tell him that something he did last session annoyed me. It’s so little, and I feel silly for being bothered by it. But yeah.
I was talking about my perfectionism / over-achieving tendencies. I said, “have you ever met a perfect perfectionist?” (Something I, of course, heard at a meeting once). It’s kind of funny, but true, and I was being serious. He gave me a fucking rimshot. Ok, he laughed, and then the rimshot. …and it was more pronounced because I hadn’t quite heard him, so I said, “what?” and he repeated, but just the rimshot. So it may have come off as more emphasized than he intended, and I may have taken it more personally than I should have.
But, dude. Don’t fucking rimshot me. Especially not when I’m being serious. I might actually throw the tissue box at your head, instead of just fantasizing about it.
Yeah, when I say I’ve had lots of feelings at my therapist, that does include anger. Though, I’m mildly amused that at my worst, the most violent thoughts I have involve the tissue box. Which, I imagine might be able to do some damage in the right circumstances… but, yeah.
Side note: Cameron did call me back. I also practiced some self care–a hot bath!
I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go home early. It just makes sense.