iContact

This subject line stolen directly from blog friend Tina. 🙂

So, both trainings I did recently strongly emphasized active listening.  The volunteer gig is answering the phones, so I kind of feel like it’s easier.  There isn’t anything to do *but* listen.

Well, so, I decided to practice my active listening skills in my meeting the other day.
MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe not the best idea to work so hard on eye contact in an S meeting.  Especially not when the first person to share is a boy I’ve previously observed to be quite cute.  And of course he made significant eye contact back.
Crapsticks.  I have a crush on him.  I mean, I think I already did, but it’s way more noticeable now.
One of the first things they say in every meeting is not to get involved with group members.  *sigh*  OFF LIMITS!

And then there was the cute boy at volunteering yesterday.  Maybe eye contact just comes more naturally in the course of conversation.  Probably, since I’m sure I haven’t been staring at people’s feet when I talk to them up until now.  Maybe I’m just more conscious of eye contact in general, or maybe it just felt more pronounced because he’s cute.  I could probably say the same of the first boy.

But, wait a tick.  A cute boy, with common interests!  I offered to loan him my textbook once I finish with it, since he needs to take the same pre-reqs for his MA program.  And something he said gave me the impression he’s intimately familiar with 12-step, but I’ve never seen him in any of MY meetings!

So a cute boy with common interests who’s not off limits.  Not my therapist (or massage therapist), and I didn’t meet him in a meeting.  And he wasn’t wearing a ring.

But, but, but… how am I supposed to obsess over someone who might actually be available?
Oh, where there’s a will there’s a way.
Case in point, I just spent 20 minutes watching YouTube videos on different accents around the country to try and place his.  I recognize it, but it’s really bothering me that I can’t quite put my finger on it.  I could just… I dunno, ask him?  *sigh*

In other news, good session with Sid, today.  He likes the fact that I blog, even if he doesn’t read it.  Probably for the best, honestly.  Mostly because I’d probably write things differently, knowing he’s reading or something.
He did, in a way, give me homework.  He suggested I write about my need to be so busy busy busy.  Because I don’t know where it comes from.
Nope, writing about it hasn’t helped yet.  My best guess is that it’s yet another method to prevent me from feeling my feelings… but I feel like I’ve been feeling a lot of feelings lately.  So.  I think I’ll have to puzzle on it for a bit.

The good news is, we talked specifically about my diagnosis.  He said that if he were to classify me now, he’d probably list my depression in partial remission.  So, yay!  Whatever I’m doing, things are getting better!  I’ve definitely noticed that outside of therapy, too.
“Maybe full remission… well… yeah, partial.”  Hey, I’ll take it.  Yay for getting better!

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One thought on “iContact

  1. Yeah for getting better. Although I read a great blog the other day re: transference, of course. She expressed her fear that getting better meant less time with her therapist & how little incentive there was for her in that. lol on the partial stalking😃 heehee. You’ll love this joke I tell people although after you finish a deep belly laugh & ponder the implications it will creep you out.
    “I’m not stalking you, but you’re low on milk”. Bwahaha Yup, I’m awake with insomnia:( Typicall

    Like

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