All you need is love

Wow.  I’m kind of floored right now.  It’s not often I’m short on words… and even when I am, I usually make some up anyway.

So, I mentioned in my last post that I asked Sid for a recommendation.  I kind of knew it was a long shot, but figured there was no harm in asking, on the off chance he could and would do one.

His reply:

“It would not be appropriate for me to provide a recommendations for you, for SDJ or elsewhere. I do believe you will be an excellent peer specialist, regardless.”

I don’t remember the last time I cried happy tears.  I’m positively astounded by how much impact that one little sentence had on me.

He likes me, he really likes me!  I was fairly confident on that already, but he’s so sparing with his overt opinions that this was kind of overwhelming to hear.  He thinks I’m going to be good at the job I’m working hard for.  I’m extrapolating a bit, but I’d infer that means he thinks I’m on the right path.

I really really don’t want to be overly dependent on outside validation.  But holy shit that was nice to hear.

One of the women involved in organizing the training expressed a similar sentiment after the training was all done.  My brain immediately started figuring out how to discount what she just said, and then logic kicked in, and I just accepted the compliment and said thank you.  So that’s two people, presumably with a good gauge of this sort of thing, who have told me I’m going to be good at this.  Ok, so the first one didn’t quite make me happy cry.  But anyway.

And I totally want to spin out into obsession now.  Did I only ask him to recommend me, knowing the answer was likely no, so as to trick him into giving me an opinion?  He said it would not be appropriate, does that mean I’ve gravely offended him now?  Is this going on my “permanent record??

But I’m trying to just sit with: he said something nice about me.  It’s incredibly validating and reassuring to know that all this hard work I’m putting in is paying off, and I’m heading in the right direction.

Wow.  Just wow.


3 thoughts on “All you need is love

  1. It reminds me of what my dad taught me about sex & fantasies (cause you know I didn’t learn anything positive from my mom). Sometimes our thoughts are weird, sometimes wonderful. As long as they’re not hurting anyone, it’s okay to just bask in a glow, soak it in & relish the deliciousness of the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I’m SO lucky, blessed & grateful. He hugs me, pits a hand on my shoulder, clasps my hand in his. Otherwise, without that he would remind me more of my mom & I would spew bitter sarcasm. Yes, I platonically 💖💜💙 him!!


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