Guilt Tripping

Oh, Aunt Jane*.

Remember my Aunt who invited herself to my SIL’s baby shower?  And all the drama and maneuvering and blablablah that Mom and brother did?

Well, she just sent an Email that was basically a giant guilt trip.  She said she didn’t feel able to attend SIL’s shower because of all the extra money she had to spend when she came to my city, a trip she already can’t afford, because she couldn’t stay with me.

For starters, my Mom was the one who told me she might want to stay with me.  I didn’t hear from Jane herself until she was out of the country (on an even more expensive trip she can’t afford!)… she sent me a text message.  Not only that, but she did voice-to-text… and then didn’t proofread, so it really didn’t make any sense.

But most importantly, no, I don’t feel guilty that I didn’t have room for her to sleep here.  I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, which is the perfect size for me and Emma.  I have a loveseat instead of a full sized couch, because I’m short.  I let my Mom stay here, but she slept on a mattress on the floor in the living room, and that wasn’t really convenient, but she’s my Mom.  I had no intention of doing that for my Aunt.

And, y’know, I’m not sorry that in the middle of: selling my house, getting a divorce, going to school, volunteering, looking for a job, and OH YEAH being a single mom to an 18 month old, I didn’t have time or energy to accommodate her.  And I am not apologizing for that.

Oh, and I don’t think anyone is sorry that she can’t attend the baby shower she invited herself to.

smallest violin

A friend also pointed out to me that Aunt Jane might not be all that different from my Mom.  Oh.  Yeah.

Sooooo, I also recognize that this might be irritating me more than usual because I’m still holding back the floodgates.  A little more than 48 hours until my next appointment with Sid, and I know it’s not going to be pretty.

OH!  And I may have a job interview between now and then.  Whaat?  Yeah.  So I was talking to my cousin, and she was worried about not replying to a job Email for 2 days… which made me realize, oh, maybe I should check my Spam folder.
Crap, wouldn’t you know it, there was a job Email from 2 days ago in there, offering a number of different slots for an interview.  Unfortunately, the only slots I’m available for were Monday afternoon, since I’m in a training Tue & Wed.

So, I called the lady and left a voicemail, explaining that her Email had gotten picked up by my Spam filter, and that I’m available for an interview Monday afternoon.  I also replied to her Email and said the same.
It’s possible she works on the weekends.  It’s possible she’ll call or Email me Monday morning to say, “sure!  Come in for an interview this afternoon!”  It’s also possible neither of those will happen, and I’m boned.  I find that last one unlikely, but it’s still possible.

Unfortunately, her Email mentioned a full time position.  When I applied to them, it was for a part time position.  So, assuming I hear from her at some point, I’ll have to bring that up.  Since my wise therapist recommended I stick to part time, and I am inclined to agree.  I would say grudgingly, but I think reality has set in that I’m really damned busy, and I am only human.

P.S.  Damn, I love cheesecake!


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