OMG I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW!
I’d say this is the job I want the most. But… I feel like since I started kinda looking, I’ve felt that way about a few different jobs. I’d go looking through the job postings, and get really excited about something: I really want this job! Then two weeks later, or so… no wait, I really want THIS job. And so on.
Hell, this isn’t even the first peer support job I’ve felt this way about. But, y’know, that one was 20 hours a week with FULL BENEFITS. Wait, what? Yes, it listed FULL BENEFITS for 20 hours a week. At a good hourly rate. So of course that was the one I wanted, didn’t really matter the specifics.
Side note, I did hear from that place. They’ve wanted to interview me twice now. Both times it’s been for a FT position. *sigh* Well, I just got the Email from them tonight, right before my appt. with Sid, and I think this is a different FT position, but still FT. So this may be the second time I’ve almost had an interview with them. *SIGH*
Anyway, this one is at SDJ. And, on the scale of “I really want this job,” it tops out all the others.
Weeeeeeeeeeeellllll, from a practical point of view, 20 hours + full benefits can’t really be beat. But, from the specific sort of department the job is for, this one tops the list.
Good session with Sid tonight.
I still hate feelings. Damn it, hate is a feeling, isn’t it!
We covered everything on my list except the “If we have time” thing.
I feel a little more capable of detaching from the people I help, and not taking their feelings home with me.
I feel a little more capable… maybe… of being vulnerable, and engaging in meaningful conversations with boys I’m attracted to. Being vulnerable, and letting go of the outcome.
I feel better about this strange sensory feeling. I think I’m just feeling shit. There’s nothing “wrong” with me that I’m feeling stuff. I told a friend today, things feel… “feel-ier.” They do! My nerves are all a little extra … something. I can’t turn it off, so I just have to “ride the wave.” (Sid’s words, not mine) I’m adjusting to it, and accepting that I can’t make it go away any more than I can turn down the blue in the sky. Maybe I just have to live with it. OTOH: it’s kind of making me miss sex even more… because it would probably feel extra awesome. *sigh* Stupid morals, and ethics.
And on that lovely note, I’m gonna get some zzzzz’s. Busy week ahead!
OH! And I’m proud of myself. Seth has a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to go over the papers. I asked him if we could table any discussion about it until after the interview. 🙂 Yay asking for my emotional needs!