So where did we leave off? Ah yes. Emma and I just got back from the baby shower trip, I passed my Peer Counselor test, and the second anniversary of D-Day. That last one, aside from the post here, allowing a little time for feelings, passed thankfully uneventfully.
Hey, we’re also coming up on my anniversary with Sid. ❤ It feels a little ridiculous to be so conscious of that. But, he’s awesome, and he’s helped me more than I can put into words (not for a lack of trying) this past year. He’s hot, but I know I don’t want to sleep with him, or even try. If anything, I lament that we can never be friends, but somehow it helps me to think that if we’d met under different circumstances we could be. (Though, if we’d met under different circumstances, I probably would have tried to bone him. What, I’m just sayin’…) I think we’re more similar than he wants to let on–blank screen and all. Mostly little things. But, there’s definitely a fondness there… with respect for him, professionally, as my therapist, and yet the level of trust and intimacy I feel to be able to tell him the things I do. I have no word for it besides fondness, which I truly want to keep within the appropriate boundaries. Oh yeah, and I keep conveniently “forgetting” to talk about how I’m afraid I put him on a pedestal. *sigh* Yeah, yeah… If there’s something I don’t want to tell my therapist… blah blah blah.
Anyway. The insurance issue is at least temporarily resolved.
So, the trip. Was definitely an exercise in acceptance. Mostly around my Mom, but also realizing that the dysfunctional apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My brother still blames me for destroying his treasured toys… when I was, what, 2? 3? I WAS A FREAKING BABY! I mean, he brings it up like he’s joking, but it’s definitely ha-ha-NO-REALLY. Well, one of those gifts I gave them at the shower was a replacement for one of those toys. So! 😛
And Mom? Man. I seriously will never run out of things to talk to Sid about thanks to her. Throughout the course of the weekend, I managed to piss her off at least 3 times, by saying things that I would consider to be innocuous.
Ok, the 3rd may have been a little terse… she came in the room, and Emma started crying, so I asked her to leave. Relatively politely, I think. She either didn’t hear me, or “didn’t hear me.” So after another minute or so, Emma was still crying, and I was more forceful asking her to leave. Y’know, when forced to choose between my mother’s feelings and my daughter’s? No contest.
I went for my yearly *ahem* lady parts checkup. Well, it had been a year and a half. And, she didn’t actually check my lady parts. We mostly talked. And I had her check my boobs, and do STD tests. I was tested right after D-Day, but Seth and I had sex since then–though not in HOLY FUCK at least a year. I haven’t had sex for at least a year. I don’t know the date, but it’s roughly a year ago, give or take.
Ok, back on track. I wanted to talk to my OB about my birth. Birth trauma. Those are the only words I have to describe it. I discussed with her the two specific events that were most traumatic (and either one alone could probably warrant a lawsuit–but I didn’t say that). I feel like she was trying hard to toe the line between sympathy and admitting fault. Naturally she’s not going to say, “OMG that’s awful! You should totally sue us!” But I definitely would’ve liked a little more sympathy.
Anyway, that’s something I have to think on. Whether I want to sue them, and what I would hope to accomplish. It’s on the ever-growing list of things to discuss with Sid.
Ok, and on the job front. I haven’t heard back about the interview last week yet. It’s been 8 days (not that I’m counting). In my session with Sid, he asked what my plan for follow-up was. I told him I sent the “thanks for the interview” Email, and beyond that I was thinking somewhere around two weeks. He agreed that was perfectly reasonable.
So… remember how I said that whenever I find a job that I’m like, “THIS is the perfect job! This is the one I want!” and then a few days later I stumble across another one that seems even more perfect? Last week’s interview job is no exception. So yesterday I applied for another job at SDJ, which seems “more perfect” than the first. Though, if push came to shove, I’d be hard pressed to pick one over the other… I think the ambivalence and just not knowing if I got it is the only thing pushing the first one down a hair.
Right. So, yesterday afternoon I applied for this job. Just over 24 hours later I got a call for an interview. A call that was an interview? We talked for almost 15 minutes, and they definitely felt like interview questions (which I aced, natch). The in-person interview is Thursday–the day after my self designated follow-up-day with Job 1. She also said it would be “informal”… so… that’s good? She’s already decided she wants to hire me, and just wants to make super sure? I dunno, I feel like that could be interpreted a lot of different ways.
I also don’t know what the protocol is, if there even is one, for interviewing the same place but different department. SDJ has a few different buildings or “campuses”… and of course, this interview will be in the very same one as Job 1. (Yes, I’m going to pee first! 😛 ) So do I need to tell either of the prospects about the other? It’s the same organization, but they probably don’t compare notes on people they interview for this position. If it were a different organization, I wouldn’t disclose that stuff unless I had an offer in hand.
Oh wait, as usual, I’m probably over-thinking this. Surprise!
Same as: should I ask Sid to schedule an extra session? Is it because I feel like I have a metric fuckton of stuff to talk about? Or just because I want to get as many sessions in as I can while the insurance thing is solid?
My brain is exhausting.
I’m going to bed.
Oh yeah, two more things, unrelated except that they are both things I would have to schedule and pay for online. I’m thinking of taking a self defense class on Sunday. I think it would be useful in a lot of ways. I’m also debating going to a speed dating event I saw on Meetup on Saturday. This is my weekend without the baby, and I want to do something fun… that has the potential to be fun, right?
Anyway. Ok, really, that’s all. Night night.