I have an “extra” appointment with Sid tomorrow… if there is such a thing. I bit the bullet and asked, like a big girl.
I feel like I need to justify it. I feel like the list of “things to talk about in therapy” gets more insurmountable every week. Not necessarily longer, but recognizing that the things I put down aren’t throw-away, talk about real quick like. And yet, my therapy hour continues to be the same 50 minutes.
Hopefully this will help. That, and there’s at least one thing that’s been on the invisible list–that is, I don’t actually write it on my list, because if I did, I might actually have to talk about it.
Here’s a hint:
Hmm. I also literally just realized that I constantly feel the need to justify my actions.
OMG I’m going to do something marginally out of the ordinary! Let me give you a lengthy dissertation on WHY I need to do that!
Wow. I could save myself a lot of time and effort if I just did things, instead of explaining the reasons behind them ad nauseam.
Like, I’m taking a self defense class Sunday. Everyone I’ve told about it, I’ve explained how I think it’ll be helpful if I get either of the jobs at SDJ… or even if I don’t get one of them.
Do I really need to explain it?
Seth used to call it my external monologue.
It’s like I’m my own narrator.
It was at that moment I realized maybe I don’t have to put every thought I ever have down in my blog. Maybe I don’t even need to share them all with my therapist.
Maybe I don’t need him to pat me on the back for every single revelation / accomplishment.
I can learn to pat myself on the back.
Holy shit, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT!
Wow, I totally just therapied myself.
I think I just therapied my pants.
And on that mature note….