Feelings

Spite is a feeling, right?

So I think I’m more nervous about my interview at on Thursday than I realized.  I’ve done an excessive amount of shopping in an attempt to find the “perfect” interview shirt.

Saturday:
Forever 21 – NOPE!  Nope, nope, nope.  That store made me feel old… or fat… or both.
Ann Taylor Loft – bought stuff, all shirts, but nothing I was sold on for the interview
Gap – bought one shirt, not for the interview
Target – bought tank tops for utility and potential underneath shirts, and sandals (which I intended for the interview, but have since vetoed)

Today:
Nordstrom – spent a lot of time there, since a personal shopper asked if she could help just as I’d thought I wanted to leave.  I bought three t-shirts (same exact style, different colors, non-interview), and three potential interview shirts, none of which I was really sold on… and they were expensive
Dress Barn – as soon as walked in the door I realized: OMG WHY didn’t I come in here first?  My favorite dress shirt ever came from there, and I’ve always had good luck.  I’m about 95% positive I have my outfit.  I really like the shirt (expensive, but still not as much as Nordstrom) and pants I bought there–the pants are SOO COMFY!  Oh yeah, I also bought three dressy shirts (again, same style, different color) non-interview, and two dressy t-shirts.
DSW – Sketchers memory foam shoes that I can wear to the interview!  It’s kind of like walking on clouds.  And I can also wear them for whatever job, in the event I have to run (though I hope not to need to).

Returned: three dressy shirts to Nordstrom (for a lot of money back!).
Going to return: Most of the stuff from Ann Taylor Loft, Target Sandals.

I may or may not return one of the three dressy shirts to Dress Barn, when I pick up the second pair of pants that I ordered.  They’re really pretty… but, realistically, do I need three?  Also, yes.  Spite.  I’ll get back to that.

I think I’m being incredibly picky, because the interview outfit I have is great.  It’s awesome.  It’s so so SO much closer to perfect than anything else I bought or almost bought (or especially returned).
Hmm.  I think I’m being obsessive because I really want this job… and my outfit is something that I can control.  I mean, to some extent, I have control on the outcome of the interview… but either they like me, or they don’t.  And, realistically (within reason) the shirt probably isn’t going to seal or sabotage the deal.  It’s me.
So.  Yeah.  Trying to find the “perfect” shirt is like trying to get to absolute zero.

Ok, so back to the spite.
As I’m checking out at Dress Barn, the cashier asks me what the interview is for (I’d mentioned at some point as I was searching).
Me: It’s a Mental Health Agency
DB: Oh.  That sounds… hard.
Me: Yeah, it is.  But it’s what I want to do.
DB: Hopefully it at least pays good money.
**Not sure whether to laugh hysterically, or just blink at her in disbelief**
Me: Yyyeah, I don’t think most people get into that field for the money.
DB: Are you sure that’s what you want to do?

Y’know, I didn’t really go into a clothing store to have my career choice questioned.  But, thank you for your unsolicited advice.  I’m pretty sure I paid my career counselor, who specializes in that sort of thing, roughly 10x what you make an hour.
One of my friends suggested: “It’s cute that you think your opinion matters.”

Anyway, I am sure it’s what I want to do with my life.

And I think I will return some of those shirts.