As is usually the case, I’ve been wanting to post for a few days. However, had I actually posted before last night, it probably would have been a different post.
I was going to say that I feel invisible. All those guys I listed in a recent post… am I invisible to them?
So there’s the cute boy I met at my training last weekend. He asked for my Email address. It’s been a week. And yes, I’ve checked the Spam filter.
Well, rather than debate on whether or not it’s creepy, I just friend requested him on Facebook. He asked for my Email address, so how is this creepy? I only know his last name because I was sitting next to the sign-in sheet. Hmm, oh well. It’s not like I looked up his address and knocked on his door.
There’s still the guy from the place I volunteer. Who also asked for my Email address. Like 3 or 4 months ago. And also has not Emailed.
Hmm. Note to self: next time a boy asks for my Email address? Ask for his. *facepalm*
I could also easily email the boy from volunteering, because we’ve been CCed on a number of emails from the boss lady.
AND THEN. Wednesday night, I took a chance. I was chatting with Aaron on Facebook. So I asked if he’d like to get coffee some time.
What did I get in response?
NOTHING. NADA. We were sort of chatting, and I know he saw the message. No response.
Last night was the single parents get together. It was a very small gathering. The one guy and girl who are a couple cancelled, so there were only 4 of us. Including Aaron. My pride made me want to be snarky about having asked him to coffee, and getting no response. But as I was getting ready for the event early in the day, I realized that I’ve been falling back into old patterns… ignoring the signs that “he’s just not that into you” and continuing to pursue him–albeit awkwardly. Or maybe it’s not that he’s disinterested… just that he doesn’t know me well enough to have a firm opinion. (Which, granted, was the whole reason I asked him to coffee, “let’s get to know each other!”) But, whatevs.
So the 4 of us sat around, and were just… really fucking real. Sharing life stories. Laughing, sympathizing… it was pretty cathartic.
At some point, the other girl and Aaron chatted alone in the kitchen, which had me one-on-one with the other guy. We talked. We were real. I shared personal details of my life, and he did the same. And y’know what? I have no idea if there’s ever going to be any kind of romantic connection with either of these guys. But now I have two more good friends, who know a bit more of the real me, and I’m not falling all over either of them trying to seduce them.
And, just before he left, Aaron said something really insightful about my volunteer gig. Heh, you don’t have to be a therapist to say what I need to hear. All I could say was, “thank you.”
So, it was a good night. Good for the soul to connect with other people.
I am still lonely. But friends help. 🙂