We go together

Like Pad Thai and potato salad.

So, I realize I haven’t really said much about Seth lately. Perhaps surprisingly, I haven’t really had much to complain about.
Ok, he let Emma’s medical bill from getting tubes in her ears slip through his fingers so that got a call from a collection agency… but he paid it at my prompting, and we agreed to split it. He rounded down my half to compensate for his “failing to adult.”

But yeah, that’s really it.
I guess all that time in therapy paid off to make me a more well-adjusted person.

We had a hot couple days last weekend, so I took Emma swimming. The last time I even invited Seth. And Cat.
That’s right, we went swimming with my ex-husband and his mistress girlfriend. She’s actually really nice, but most importantly, she loves Emma. More grown ups loving her is not a bad thing.

So while we were in the pool, Cat invited me to a family get-together thing for this weekend. It was supposed to be at the park, but rain happened, so instead it stayed at their house. Well, Seth’s house, which Cat is about to move into. (Oh yeah, there’s that too).
Two of Cat’s siblings were there, along with an extra toddler, her mother (from what I’ve heard, also a narcissist like my mother) and her grandmother. And Cat’s son, Ryan.
I wanted to play with the other toddler (a little younger than Emma) but felt a little awkward. Thankfully, I think that was the most awkwardness I felt. Weeeeelllllll, ok, it’s still a little awkward when I see Seth & Cat PDAs… but I can count on three fingers how many times I’ve seen obvious ones with them–and two were today. Two arm touches, and one quick smooch (that I heard, not so much saw).

But yeah, this little boy. He’s my… ex-husband’s girlfriend’s nephew? My ex’s possibly-future nephew? Emma’s possibly-future step-cousin?  He was super cute, I just felt a little weird wanting to play with a small child I had so little connection to. So I didn’t really interact with him much.

ANYwho. There was a point here somewhere.
Seth told me it would be a barbecue. I offered to bring something, and I asked what he was making. Then I said, “nevermind, you’re probably not going to make something that doesn’t go with potato salad.”
Well. Cooking entirely inside, they made Pad Thai, and a curry dish. But, since I didn’t have any leftover potato salad to take home, I consider it a win. 🙂

So, yeah. It may be unconventional, and occasionally slightly uncomfortable… but Emma is going to have a big, weird family that loves her to pieces.

In some of my school reading, I came across a term I rather liked: binuclear family. I like the concept, and I know my little girl will be much more well adjusted that mommy and daddy don’t hate each other, and presumably don’t hate each others’ partners.

I joke about it, but it’s in that “haha, no really” kind of way. I’m glad my parents taught me how NOT to get divorced.

And, I guess I have to add that Seth has played a big part in this, too. He’s financially generous, and willing to negotiate, whether it’s money or switching nights with Emma. I don’t know what I’d do if I’d had to fight to get money from him.
I’m glad he’s not a total d-bag. And I’m glad that Cat is not an evil step-mother figure… as much as I might want to hate her, it’s really about Emma.

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2 thoughts on “We go together

  1. Wow! So impressed and proud of your ability to handle those family-type functions with such grace and ease. Seriously. Bravo!

    My ex just remarried last month… I haven’t written about it yet, but I’ve almost, ALMOST, reached the point where I could imagine us all doing “family stuff” in the same place at the same time. Time will tell how all of that might unfold, I suppose.

    Anyway, just wanted to offer support and a pat on the back for such a huge milestone. Because it really, truly is.

    Like

    • Thank you! 🙂 It’s taken a lot of soul searching (read: therapy) to get to a place of acceptance. But I really try to keep sight of the fact that Emma is the most important person in this large, weird, non-traditional “family.” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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